Saturday, July 3 2010

 

So today I started writing the first lesson for our Circle’s apprenticeship program.  It’s all about meditation.  And I didn’t realize how much random stuff I have in my head until I tried to write it all down.  So this may take me a while.

Why are we doing this?  Because High Priestess said to, of course.

In retrospect, it’s really a good idea.  We’ll be able to teach people, and have a good foundation to do it with.  No more chaotic teachings.  No more chaotic thinking.

Which for most people is good, I suppose.

 

On another note, I think I am going to do some meditation again tonight.  I feel in need of it.  Not sure what I’ll meditate about tho.  I may just choose to hang out in the state until something comes to me.  If nothing does… eh.  So?  At least it will be a good relaxing moment.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

After completing exercises 2-6 in my book, I realized that I’m actually not that bad at energy work.  Course, I’ve done all that before, but that isn’t the point.

Earth walking is probably my favorite though.  I’ve been ‘Earth Walking’ since I first started this entire business at the grand age of 13.  I didn’t have a name for it then, but I was doing it.  And it always, then as well as now, gives me more of a grounded sensation, even when I am feeling jittery and amazed.

But it is the earth.

I do have to finish my studying now, but I thought I would drop that info off here. 

BTW, I also noticed that my left hand is very sensitive.  I actually get tingles so strong they almost hurt all the way up to my elbow in that arm, whereas in my right it is just more of a weight or heat.

June 29, 2010

I performed my Intention Ritual tonight. It was not mind-blowing, but it was… memorable. I was suffused with a feeling of warmth. A feeling of RIGHTNESS. My toes grew warm and my fingers tingled. It was gradual. As if everything I was speaking to was slowly focusing… and at the end, it felt as if the world held still, just for a few breaths.

I feel better. Lighter, even after all the stress of the past few days. It re-motivated me, and for that I am very grateful. I had entered a cycle of stress and pessimism.

Now I do not feel bad about missing the last week in my writing. Now I feel … exceptional. I am a mother. I have two children, and I am taking care of them by myself. THAT means that I am strong. I am amazing. And if i slip up a bit in keeping up with my journals, that is fine. I am going to learn how to do things right, and if I mess up, I am fine.

Because I will learn, and I will make it better.

After the last few days, I desperately needed that revelation. And I didn’t realize that it was a revelation until just now.

It’s an amazing sensation. Normally I get that sort of revelation in my dreams, and this time, I was awake.

And here is my lesson for the day. Laughter is good.

Rabbit's Song

Trickster came a'calling To find a totem here
To teach the foolish heart of man
Without installing fear.
Many came and many went And still the Trickster paused;
Bear and Cat and Tiger tried but had too many claws.
Dog and Wolf though wise indeed
Had teeth t'were quite a fright
And Owl with his tawny eyes could only see at night.
"No," the Trickster said at last
"Teachers, I see many.
But My way is full of laughter and in you I see not any."

But beneath the tree where Eagle sat
Coyote told the tale
of silly hares cavorting
In the old country of Wales.
Raven stared unto the sun
And Crow sang awful songs
And Rabbit sat a'listening
With ears so wondrous long.

"Aha!" The Trickster danced a dance
Of mirth and vict'ry sweet.
He leapt with joy and swooped a swoop
And landed at their feet.
"Of all here now," the Trickster said
"You are the very Beasts!"
And Rabbit said, "I'm sorry sir
But of all, we are the least."

The Trickster smiled and raised a hand
And spoke: "I have a plan
The four of you shall help me
To teach the heart of Man.
Raven with your love of light
The Sun you'll steal and soon.
For the gift of warmth I give to man
To be the greatest boon.
And Crow, you silly creature
Who sings without a voice,
Teach man `bout pride and helping
You really have no choice.
Coyote my friend, together we'll spin
Many a tale at night,
And show man by our naughtiness
What really should be right."

Wednesday, June 23 2010

You don't have to speak:  you can do it in the dance
You don't have to hide:  you are safe within the dance
All of us are free in the heart of the dance
So mote it be, in the name of the dance!

The circle is here; it lives in each of us
in perfect love and perfect trust.
The circle is here; it lives in each of us
when we meet in perfect love and perfect trust
by S.J. Tucker

I found this artist today.  S.J. Tucker is an amazing songwriter, and her voice is to die for.  I feel that she may have captured the pagan spirit in my heart with her Blessings Album.  The songs are absolutely gorgeous, rough, and absolutely mind-bogglingly wonderful.

She can move from hauntingly ethereal in one song to a rowdy song that reminds you of a bar song… despite the sacredness of the words.  I love it.

Her voice actually makes me feel a bit more… meditative.  And I can’t help but sing along with her the more I listen to her.  She’s just amazing.  A real inspiration.

Moving on.

I also found myself today contemplating my spirituality vs my life, and I realized that I have been contemplating everything I need to do far too much.  I need to just relax.  You’d think I would have figured out how to do that by now, but nope.  I’m still pretty bad about stressing.

It’s beginning to get a little aggravating, honestly.  I think I will try to do my Intention Ritual tonight.  If I can’t manage it tonight because of children, then I’ll definitely do it sometime tomorrow.  I also have to start moving my stuff into a bigger binder… for the book of shadows I mean.  I am starting to run out of room.  LOL.

I truly didn’t expect to have that problem.  Odd I know.

Hymn to Herne

You can say your prayers, work your rites
burn your little candles day and night
you can shimmy 'til dawn to the pounding drums
but you best be ready when the Horned One comes, yeah

If you wake to the sound of a hunting horn,
dance a ring in the gathering storm.
If the Solstice time gets your panties in a wad,
it's just the coming of the Horned God

chorus
He will call you out, make you sweat,
give you a blessing that you'll never forget.
So revel in the chase and let your heartbeat run:
Blessed are the children of the Horned One!

Hunter who tracks outside of time,
guardian lord of ancient rhyme,
brother stag in the musky glen
and consort of the Goddess in her woodland den,
we call you forth as we make our way,
walking in your power every day.
Guide us true in our hunt this night
and maybe even later in the Great Rite!

chorus
He will call you out...

If you wake to the sound of a hunting horn
dance a ring in
the gathering storm
revel in the chase and let your heartbeat run
but you'd best be ready, little one!
You'd best be ready when the Horned One comes!

chorus
He gonna call you out...

by S.J. Tucker

Tuesday, June 22 2010

Today is the day that I begin my daily journal. I am not entirely sure what to write, but I do know that the journal is recommended, nay, required by the author that I have decided to follow. Christopher Penczak. I have decided to follow his Temple series, and see what knowledge and experience it leads me to.

Although I know and have done much of what is in his Inner Temple book, I have never been organized about it. And I have decided to ‘start anew’. I have always learned best when in charge of my own learning, so I shall be striving to maintain what he calls for.

I found, the other day, that he has started a group. I wish I lived near where they gather. I am hoping to someday find a group that has someone like him at the helm. I will miss the group I belong to now when I move, and I worry often that I will not find a group as awesome ever again.

Maybe that’s just me being paranoid. But I don’t think so.

These days I feel very… chaotic. Swept from side to side. There are so few things that are solid for me. Stability is a dream.

I am hoping to change that someday. I really am. I have been slacking off in my grounding of late, and that is entirely my fault, allowing my own personal problems to so distract me.

It will end.

This is all I can think of at this exact time. I’ll have to add more later, before I go to bed.